Riffing on types of communication

In light of returning to the office, thought about putting down some words on two forms of communication - real time and asynchronous (wonder what the short hand is for this - lag time?)

Real time communication

• Its live, I'm reacting to what you're saying in real time. Inaccurate to say I don't have time to think before I respond, but there's a clear difference between a five second pause and replying after a few hours/days. Can refer to text-based interaction if we're being technical but I'm mainly talking about oral conversations. (Conversely, I refer to asynchronous communication as text based).
• It is better for when I want to gauge what the other person is about. Getting to know a new colleague, a prospective date, volunteer groups. The reason I think this is better for getting to know someone is that you are responding to them as they present themselves to you, rather than how you interpret their words on a page/text message etc.
• This allows me to form a slightly more accurate and 3-dimensional view of what they are about, rather than the 2-dimensional depiction that, from my experience, occurs when the preliminary interactions take place asynchronously.
• Still struggling to flesh this out, but it intuitively make senses as to why its easier to establish rapport with a new person in real time, as opposed to over text.
• My primary data source for a compare/contrast example is retrospectively thinking about my dating experiences - those that started from extended texting on a dating app vs a real life interaction. Hands down, it seems like I had an easier time establishing a genuine preliminary vibe & more accurate picture of her when the bulk of our preliminary interactions were in real time vs texting someone for an extended period prior to meeting.
• This is not to say online interactions do not have their place, but could be worth keeping this in mind - with new interactions, I'm probably better off arranging a meet or a call to start with.
• Haven't thought much about how this extends to established relationships. Preliminary thoughts - when you've both already put in the work to establish what the other is about, you're less likely to form an inaccurate 2D impression of the other. Or rather the pre-established base knowledge of what they are about mostly trumps whatever interpretation your mind gives of the latest message.
• The accuracy of how we are forming our understanding of this new person is probably the core issue. Asynchronous communication allows you to reply at your convenience (within the bounds accepted in the particular environment).
• I think this is the core of what I'm getting at:

When you're still at the infancy of a new interaction, asynchronous communication can be a problem, because you might get stuck in your own head, and ascribe to the other person's words how you would want them to convey the message they sent you, rather than interpret their message the way they sent it to you.

• The problem is that our preliminary interactions form the base for how we build our understanding of a new person. When you don't have much of a base understanding of the other person to begin with, your anchor for understanding who they are becomes how your mind interprets their message, therefore it is likelier that your mind forms a skewed base image of what they are about.
• Not saying this can't occur in real-time interactions, but for most people, our minds will probably be mostly focused on understanding and responding to this live stimulus (i.e. the new person), leaving less time for the mind to form its own interpretation of what the new person is saying.

Asynchronous communication

• Generally the opposite of the above. Replying at my convenience, is primarily text-based, is best for established relationships or when having an accurate picture of the person does not matter e.g. one-off online purchases.